Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
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You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
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Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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