She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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