Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize