there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize