I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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