i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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