it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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