M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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