Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize