Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize