I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it's like iHOP with fire
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
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We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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