Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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