There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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