boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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