So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
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