How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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