Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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