Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize