The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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