Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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