these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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