somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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