the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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