it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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