My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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