Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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