My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize