i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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