he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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