Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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