god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
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Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
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We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My feet surprised me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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