Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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