All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize