don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
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How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
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I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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