just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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