oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize