OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
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Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
did i just pee glitter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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