I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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