a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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