I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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