There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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