I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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