and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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