you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
3 2 1 whiskey
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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