I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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