Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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