I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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