No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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