Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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