please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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