you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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